Let’s Talk About Social Work and Family This blog is dedicated to my parents: Luigi and Maria Nobile My father was born in Italy during World War II. My paternal grandfather was captured by American soldiers and held captive as a prisoner of war until my dad was seven. During and after World War II, times were really rough in Italy and I know that my dad went nights without food. My father never went to school; instead he worked hard helping to support his family since he was a little boy. He cannot read or write in English or Italian, but he is still the wisest man I know. He has many treasurable lines of advice, such as “J or my JJ (those are his nicknames for me), there’s no use in complaining, nobody’s gonna listen anyhow”, and “nobody’s going to pay your bills for you, so you better work”. Probably his most important saying and the one I’ve heard the most- “J go to school and finish so you don’t have to work hard like me”. I love my dad and I’m very proud of him. My father followed his two older brothers to America when he was 17. Both my uncles and dad became American citizens automatically because my great grandparents had birthed my Nonna Cecilia on American soil beofre returning to Italy, during the Industrial Revolution. My dad has been working non-stop since he arrived to this country. Even to this day, he chooses to work despite his pensions and social security. It’s like my father came into this world working and he doesn’t know how to stop. I know it’s very ironic that I’m a writer and my father’s illiterate, but I wouldn’t change that about him. It was his illiteracy that made me recognize literacy as a gift when I first learned to read. After that realization, I used to read constantly. I always said that I would read enough for two people in one lifetime, and I’m pretty sure I’ve accomplished that goal. I wouldn’t be the writer I am if my father knew how to read. Like my father, my mother, had no formal education. She is the oldest daughter of seven children and was charged with the task of caring for her younger siblings. Although my mom expressed a desire to learn, my Nonno Luigi took her out of school in fifth grade. Unlike my dad, my mom learned to read and write in both languages. She went to night school at a local community college in Pittsburgh before I was born so that she could learn written English. My mom always said she would have become a teacher if she had the opportunity. During my mother's late teenage years, she was sent to a trade school so that she could learn to sew. My mother still works as a seamstress, although she has arthritis. I know her hands are sore and tired, but she still sews. My mom also doesn’t understand the concept of not working. Both my parents always worked. My mom, like my dad, fueled my desire to learn. She would take me to the local book mobile and the library, every week so that I could pick books to read. She echoed my father’s sentiments, “JJ you better go to school when you grow up”. I always knew that going to school made my mom feel like she was fulfilling her educational dreams through me. As an adult, I think back to those days when my parents were constantly working and I thank them. I know that they had to work so that we had our home and food. Admittedly, their long hours at work and lack of formal education, created some challenges for me as a child. I started school behind the other students and had to spend many hours teaching myself all the basics to catch up. Every year in school, I worked extra hard and read as much as possible because I knew I wouldn’t have help on my homework. I do have an older sister, but she wasn’t interested in school the way that I am. I actually read all of the books assigned during her first semester/first round of college when I was in 5th grade. She doesn’t remember what the required readings were because she was too busy with her now husband, but I can tell you that she was assigned to read: 1)All Quiet on the Western Front, 2) Maus I and II, and 3) To Kill a Mockingbird. She doesn’t believe me to this day, but honest to goodness that is what she had to read. I know because I read them. My upbringing forced me to be self-taught and I am grateful. I got to pick all of my books and I would read anything I could get my hands on. I read frequently and I learned/learn a lot. Thank goodness, Louisa May Alcott books were among my first because she taught me that we must carefully choose what we read. I remember clearly in her novel, Rose in Bloom, a moment where the protagonist’s uncle speaks to Rose about the importance of choosing books carefully. Her uncle encourages her to read books that will uplift her character and staying away from books that spoil the mind. I also idenitfieid with Alcott's characters very much- I was Jo the writer, Polly the girl that tried her best to be good, and Rose who had no real shining talents, other than helping others. I still try to be good and do good like Alcott's protoganists. I also carefully choose what I read, always carrying with me the understanding that books have the to power to keep my moral compass pointed north. I usually chose and choose books that provide me with new knowledge about history, religion, or different places. I love to read research, the classics, poetry, philosophy, textbooks, and anything social work related. Besides my education, my parents’ work schedule established some really unhealthy eating habits at a young age. To be honest, I weighed around 55 pounds more than I do now as a 9yo child, and my mom had to make my communion dress because we couldn’t find one big enough to fit me. There wasn’t time for my mom to cook, so I either ate cereal or whatever fast food my sister or dad gave me. Except for Sundays, my mom always and still makes pasta. I fondly remember that my dad would take me to Kings every Friday to get buttery pierogis or McDonald’s whenever my mom worked late. I loved getting pierogis with my dad. However, I hated being obese and all of the teasing that went along with it. My 90 pound 16yo sister would knock on neighborhood children’s doors, telling them they better stop picking on me. When I had made up my mind to lose weight, my parents and sister were really supportive. They bought a treadmill and put it in our laundry room. I decided to become vegetarian for the first time in my life around 11, and my family stopped buying unhealthy foods and soda. My mom also started cooking for me more and I learned to love vegetables. It took me a few years before I was able to achieve a health weight. I am grateful again that my parents worked hard so that I could train myself to eat healthy and exercise at a young age. Those habits remain with me today. I still really love vegetables so much so that I am a happy vegan that snacks on carrots, vegan protein bars, and apples all day long. So how does this long-winded story translate into social work? I got to thinking very recently that I have a story to tell that could help others, after I finished transcribing my last of 24 interviews. I can't wait to write chapter four and publish the stories from my transciptions; they're more powerful than my story. As we all know, social work is about helping people. Our work, our social work, is about helping people. I was thinking that my story might shed some light on some social issues that are problematic for our youth. For example, the majority of people in America still don’t earn a bachelor’s degree. This information may seem shocking to those of you reading this blog, but go and check the Census Bureau data... pick any city or town, and you will see that I am right. That means more than half of parents raising America’s youth, do not have a bachelor’s degree. Simply put, children and teens need more help from adults in their schools. We also need to carefully train adults working in schools to adequately prepare students, all students, for higher education. I’m an outlier, most students can’t do it alone the way I did. I have had some help along the way, but not always. Students need help and encouragement. They need to be told early on, no matter what their background, “You are capable of going to college and I will help you”. Our youth need to know that each and every single one of them is capable. That each and every one of them is smart in their own way. That each youth has something special to contribute to this world. We need to step up our game when it comes to secondary education in America. This scenario isn’t working for our country or students, and something needs to change. The reality is, many of our parents lack the education needed or work too much to help their children reach academic goals. Not having an education or having to work doesn’t make you a bad parent. It’s our job as social workers to encourage capacity building in families, while also refraining from judgment. It’s our job as social workers to meet the needs of students in their school and communities. Another aspect of my story is my own childhood obesity. It’s no secret that childhood obesity has now become a national epidemic. Why is that? I think that parents are just too busy to cook sometimes, like my own parents were. It’s more convenient and quicker to get fast food. Additionally, there is the aspect of affordability. And although Trader Joe’s does a great job of making organic food affordable, how many people actually live near a Trader Joe’s? I have to drive 15 minutes to get to mine, but it’s worth it to me because of how much organic food I consumer weekly. Then there is unchecked marekting of processed food, which has established a taste for it in America. Think about what you see when you walk into a store or gas station. What do you see? I am certain that chips, soda, candy bars, and a variety of unhealthy foods grab your attention when you enter and exit stores. It's mental manipulation at its best, creating increasingly unhealthy food habits for the average American. Additionally, there are habits that people have to give up and replace simultanesouly. Refrainging from chips, replacing soda with water, and learning to love exercising aren’t easy things. A lot of times people don’t even want to make these changes even if it will improve their health and quality of life. As social workers, it is our goal to help people help themselves. It also our job to advocate for things, such as access to healthy, tasty, and affordable food options. We should also advocate for reduced marketing of processed food and for further availability of fresh foods. People should be taught how to cook quick and tasty meals in their schools and communities. I think we should keep home economics in high schools, but teach people to cook meals that are healthy and taste good instead of mini cheesecakes. For example, I can think of so many Italian dishes that are afforadable, yummy, and take me less than 15 minutes to cook. I will give whoever asks me, my butternut squash recipe cooked with almond milk upon request. It can either be made into a pasta, side dish, or thrown over some salad. However, people don't know about all of these healthy and delicious meals because of unchecked mass marketing of foods that are processed. Processed-food propaganda pervades our stores and homes. Which brings me to my last point...self-determination. We social workers do not have control over other people’s actions, thoughts, or feelings. We shouldn’t even want to control these things, but instead give people options. I feel like right now, people don’t even have the option to eat healthy or go to a school equipped to meet their unique learning needs. We social workers need to create these options and then let people decide. No matter what a person decides, we accept, love, and support them. For example, I am vegan and probably will be predominantly vegan until I die. There are layers upon layers of reasons why I am vegan. One of which and why I’ve been vegetarian so many times throughout my life, is that I truly believe animals have souls. The most important thing is, being vegan makes me happy. When I try to take vegan breaks, I usually feel really guilty afterward. There are the rare times when taking a break from being vegan is okay, like when I ate the Almond Joy Dr. Hopps gave me. These instances, however, are really rare and most of the time I don't even like think about straying from my vegan lifestyle. I guess what I'm trying to say is that people should have the right to choose their own preferences. I do believe that people should be give more knowledge so it is them and not the profiteers making decisions. I don’t think that anybody should make their views on food an imposition. Our responsibility is to give all the available information to consumers and let them make informed choices. I know my vegan comrades are shaking fists at me right now, but my social work views will always take precedence- it’s all about self-determination. Is someone really self-determining though if we aren’t providing them with options? Is someone really self-determining if they are being manipulated to buy unhelathy food the moment they walk into a store? Is someone self-determining if there are no grocery stores nearby that sell healthy and affordable food? Is someone self-determining if we aren't teaching them how to cook meals that are both inexpensive and tasty? Finally, are students really self-determining if we treat them as failures rather than set educational excellence as an expectation? Are students self-determining if we aren't creating safe school environments? Are students self-determining if we fail to privilege their voices? Are students self-determining if we don't give them all the information about drugs and sex? Are students self-determining through strandardized tests or are they being treated as a statstic? Who is determining the future education of our youth? In closing, I just want to thank my parents again for being who they are. I am proud of you both and would never change how I was raised. I am very gratefu and lucky to have both my parents- they have alwas loved me and worked hard to give me the best life they could. I also want to thank my sister, Lisa, for so many things. I would be very lost without my sister and although she no longer knocks on bullies doors, she does her best to help me.
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