St. Paul said “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” This quote by St. Paul is repeatedly used to symbolize the way in which two souls inspired by love should engage in joining. This text that has consistently moved hearts throughout the ages. These simple words capture the essence of love we all so desire to receive, and provide us with a goal as to how we should love our significant others. St. Paul makes no mention of gender, gender roles, sexual orientation, sexual identity…he simply depicts a pure understanding of love that is limitless by being unconditional.
Although other texts in the bible, including some written by St. Paul, have been used time and time again to argue that being LGBTQ is a sin, I beg to differ. For one, none of us think of those religious texts when we think of love. We, as a people, usually return to Corinthians 13:4, a love that is described as unconditional. Now let me start with the bible to argue that LGBTQ love is still love and by no means is this love a sin. The portion of the bible most often applied to attack LGBTQ love is the book of Deuteronomy. I’m sorry to inform readers, but all of us are going to hell if this document has any validity. For example the Book of Deuteronomy states that to eat meat you must pour all the blood of the animal on the ground first, you can’t eat cloven-footed animals such as pigs, every seventh year all creditors shall relinquish the debts owed them (my credit card companies will tell you that’s not happening), you shall not destroy trees, and my favorite “you shall not wear cloth of two different kinds of thread, wool and lines, woven together”. That means if you are a devout Christian wearing a wool-blended sweater and preaching against LGBTQ love based upon what is said in the Book of Deuteronomy, then guess what? You are going to hell too because you just committed the sin of wearing cloth consisting of two different threads blended together. In other words, this book is an invalid argument because if it were true, every person in this world is sinful and going to hell. Now let us look at LGTBQ love from Jesus’ standpoint. Actually we cannot accomplish this task because nowhere does it mention in the four gospels how Jesus felt about LGBTQ love. Maybe later apostles, including St. Paul, discussed a gendered notion of love, but Jesus did not. I would go as far as to say that Jesus probably said it was okay and his views were edited out because they were unpopular at the time, just as they are today. However, that is just my opinion. If anything, Jesus is another that speaks of unconditional love. From Jesus we got- love thy neighbor as you love yourself, ye that never sins throw the first stone, and the blessed are those treated most harshly by society. Based on what he did say, I think we can argue that Jesus would have been a proponent for LGBTQ love. The simple fact that this portion of the bible, the one that specifically reflects Jesus’ teachings makes no mention of LGBTQ love, speaks volumes to me. Sometimes we learn more from what isn’t said than what is said. In this case, it is strange that the authors of the four gospels omitted Jesus’ opinion of same-sex love. So now that we have established that religious arguments against LGBTQ love are unfounded, let us take a look at society. Ancient Greece and Rome are credited with the establishment of civil society; both societies popularized same-sex intercourse and certainly did not consider it a “sin”. Thus, the two society’s that helped us create modern society as we know it, frequently engaged in LGBTQ forms of love. In Shakespearean times, males frequently dressed as females to act out roles in plays. There are also rumors that President Franklin Roosevelt enjoyed wearing women’s pantyhose. So how did we get to where we are today? Today, where only 22 countries out of approximately 200 countries, have legalized same-sex marriage. What about the other 178 countries? And even in the countries that have legalized same-sex marriage, stigma steal remains as a plummeting force that makes people feel bad who they are and whom they love. Now let’s talk about societal change. A lot of progress has been made in recent years regarding how we view same-sex love and gender identity. Largely in part due to the courage displayed by people present in popular media. Thank you Freddie Mercury. Thank you Ellen DeGeneres. Thank you RuPaul. Thank you Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal. Thank you Laverne Cox and Caitlyn Jenner. My question is, what more can we do to eliminate stigma associated with LGBTQ love? More specifically, how can we support LGBTQ youth to embrace who they are, how they want to love, and whom they choose to love. I was at a gathering recently with many helpers professionals and shockingly, one attendee said something to the effect that we should make youth identifying as transgender face reality about their gender. A helping professional suggested discouraging transgender youth from embracing their true internal gender identity. This is unacceptable. All helping professionals, regardless of their religious beliefs, should make no child feel wrong about being authentic and owning their true nature. Parents, teachers, administrators, social workers, therapist, etc. anyone engaged with children should promote the notion that LGBTQ love is still love all the same. Research shows that youth who identify as LGBTQ are more likely to experience suicidal ideation and/or attempt suicide than any other youth population (Youth Suicide Prevention Program, 2011). Research also shows that these youth are more likely to be targets of bullying, harassment, and even violent assaults (Youth Suicide Prevention Program, 2011). However, schools tasked with keeping children safe, often ignore the victimization of LGBTQ youth (Suicide Prevention Program, 2011). Many of these youth often end up homeless and living on the streets. Obviously something needs to change so that LGBTQ youth and adults too, feel embraced by their social environments and encouraged to be true to who they are. Things need to change. Parents need to be accepting of children’s choice to identify as LGBTQ. Parents, you need to accept your children and love them for who they are, not abolish them from your households. Schools need to become safe zones. For example, schools can institute days to celebrate life and love for LGBTQ youth. Bathrooms at schools should become gender neutral so youth identifying as LGBTQ aren’t made to feel uncomfortable. More education about being LGBTQ needs to be provided for anyone working with children. Helping professionals cannot approach LGBTQ as needing to give them “a reality check”. Helping professionals must recognize that reality is complex and not everyone was blessed with being born into the gender they most identify with. Helping professionals must also normalize LGBTQ orientation and identity since in reality, this type of love has always been present in our human existence. Remember Alexander the Great. Hello reality, Alexander the Great was a homosexual. Why don’t they teach that in ancient Greek history? Really, no child should be made to feel ashamed or be attacked because of their gender identity or sexual orientation. Finally there needs to be more programs and financial assistance for those who desire to undergo a sex change. Although Caitlyn Jenner was wealthy and able to financially embrace her true nature, the majority of transgender people simply don’t possess the funds. Let’s help them be able to live authentically by making sex-change a viable option, especially when it ensures the happiness allotted by living life authentically. Media also needs to realistically portray what it feels like to be transgender and also the true essence of undergoing a sex change. We all saw Caitlyn Jenner after she had completed her transformation. I feel like media can step it up and portray real people going through the full process, while also focusing on their right to love. We all need to step it up and make LGBTQ people know that we support them and their right to love however they so choose. We celebrate Valentine’s Day to honor Saint Valentine, the saint that would perform illegal marriages for people that were in love, which caused his jailing. Like Saint Valentine, I think we need to encourage love, allow it, and promote it at all costs. LGBTQ love is still love. In closing, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” This is true for all members of society. Happy Valentines Day! References: http://www.yspp.org/about_suicide/gay_lesbian_FAQs.htm
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