Recently, I began re-reading and watching the Harry Potter series for the first time since I lived in Pittsburgh. I decided to do a google search the movie stars of this series to see what they look like now, when it occurred to me that my appearance, in contrast to most of these stars, has not significantly altered whatsoever since high school. I was already 18 when the first Harry Potter movie premiered. I remember thinking these kid stars did a great job, making book characters come to life. The emphasis here being on kids…they are all younger than I am by years. Now most of them look much older than myself and it caused me to experience this revelation- people’s impression of me is fundamentally driven by my appearance and it hurts.
It hurts because I am usually misunderstood, immediately, based upon my appearance. My intelligence, experiences, knowledge, and expertise are often questioned and/or minimized because of how I look. When my appearance causes other to disregard my intelligence and know-how it becomes particularly problematic for me as an assistant professor. However, appearances are inevitable, and are established by genes and the choices we make. Over the past decade, I made choices that altered my appearance, such as a healthy vegan/vegetarian diet and daily exercise. The hues of my skin, short built, dark brown hair and eyes never change. My spirit, soul, self-less drive, mind, morals, values, and beliefs have not changed other than to grow. As such, I try my best to do and think right, so that my being helps, not hurts other people; a core value that solidifies me. In retrospect, I felt misunderstood at every stage of my appearance living in America and less so when I am in Italy. It is impossible for me to communicate each piece of myself on a surface level, which is appearance. I describe appearance as the most superficial point of what makes us individuals. My own experiences with my appearance and the incorrect assumptions people make about me, made me think about what other people experience on a daily basis because of their appearance. More often than not, our society stratifies its people by appearance. In other words, fractions within society are dictated by location, ethnicity, and skin tones. I imagined how some people fear for their lives because of appearance. Others, denied entry to access the benefits to living in a free and for the most part, safe United States. Some people think they are ugly because proposed propaganda spills lies. Very honestly, basing an understanding of a human because of appearances causes the most harm in society. As individuals, we present ourselves initially through our appearances. However, to fully attempt an understanding of another, appearances must be set aside. Truly, everything underneath holds honesty and real beauty. I believe that we must all first examine our appearance, and embrace its essence. When we believe who we are is who we are meant to be and why we are we, then every part, including our appearance simply makes us whole. After, we are able to understand and love ourselves, only then can we love others. When we love others, appearance becomes only one segment of love. When we love, we are able to heal, care, help, conceive, dream, believe, hope, imagine, and create a better world. Appearances are only deceiving when you let them be, so don’t let them be.
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