Recently, I began re-reading and watching the Harry Potter series for the first time since I lived in Pittsburgh. I decided to do a google search the movie stars of this series to see what they look like now, when it occurred to me that my appearance, in contrast to most of these stars, has not significantly altered whatsoever since high school. I was already 18 when the first Harry Potter movie premiered. I remember thinking these kid stars did a great job, making book characters come to life. The emphasis here being on kids…they are all younger than I am by years. Now most of them look much older than myself and it caused me to experience this revelation- people’s impression of me is fundamentally driven by my appearance and it hurts.
It hurts because I am usually misunderstood, immediately, based upon my appearance. My intelligence, experiences, knowledge, and expertise are often questioned and/or minimized because of how I look. When my appearance causes other to disregard my intelligence and know-how it becomes particularly problematic for me as an assistant professor. However, appearances are inevitable, and are established by genes and the choices we make. Over the past decade, I made choices that altered my appearance, such as a healthy vegan/vegetarian diet and daily exercise. The hues of my skin, short built, dark brown hair and eyes never change. My spirit, soul, self-less drive, mind, morals, values, and beliefs have not changed other than to grow. As such, I try my best to do and think right, so that my being helps, not hurts other people; a core value that solidifies me. In retrospect, I felt misunderstood at every stage of my appearance living in America and less so when I am in Italy. It is impossible for me to communicate each piece of myself on a surface level, which is appearance. I describe appearance as the most superficial point of what makes us individuals. My own experiences with my appearance and the incorrect assumptions people make about me, made me think about what other people experience on a daily basis because of their appearance. More often than not, our society stratifies its people by appearance. In other words, fractions within society are dictated by location, ethnicity, and skin tones. I imagined how some people fear for their lives because of appearance. Others, denied entry to access the benefits to living in a free and for the most part, safe United States. Some people think they are ugly because proposed propaganda spills lies. Very honestly, basing an understanding of a human because of appearances causes the most harm in society. As individuals, we present ourselves initially through our appearances. However, to fully attempt an understanding of another, appearances must be set aside. Truly, everything underneath holds honesty and real beauty. I believe that we must all first examine our appearance, and embrace its essence. When we believe who we are is who we are meant to be and why we are we, then every part, including our appearance simply makes us whole. After, we are able to understand and love ourselves, only then can we love others. When we love others, appearance becomes only one segment of love. When we love, we are able to heal, care, help, conceive, dream, believe, hope, imagine, and create a better world. Appearances are only deceiving when you let them be, so don’t let them be.
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I grew up in Eastmont, a small niche of homes connected by the families we belong to and the community we live and or lived in. Our families became intertwined and tied to Eastmont. My immediate family alone owns four of the houses-my parents, my zia and zio, my sister and family, and my brother-like cousin Brian and his family. The moments we have experienced as gang, resembled lifetimes before we even aged. I remember so many moments where the generations of families in Eastmont came together, always for a good laugh; even in the worst of times we found ways to laugh. I hung around the older generation of Eastmont, and I landed on the periphery between them and my own generation. In reality though, we are really just one large group of people from Eastmont When I think of Eastmont, I think of all of them, my family, everyone I grew up with, everyone who group up before me, the youth growing up now.
We are such a mixture of people tied to a single place, nestled on a hill. Nestled in the woods are secret train tracks, trains whistle in the middle of the night, and I fall asleep to them in my room. In this neighborhood, tucked away are a pattern of houses- some of them with their backs to the trains’ woods or some other woods and others, like my own, backs facing backs of other houses. Next door, I always have my Sun, who is very dear to me. Like Sun, the other people who grew with me in Eastmont are dear. My Zia, another especially dear example, hosts our family and people who have become extended family at her home on the 4th. I've been a picky eater ever since I can remember, and Zia makes sure that there is some sort of vegetable I can eat without cheese. My zia helps make the 4th of July one of my favorite holidays. While I'm at Zia's there is already a lot of people from Eastmont celebrating at Eastmont Park. Every 4th Lisa L. rents out our park for a huge 4th of July party. We eat, drink, and have fun. When I say fun, I mean we have a lot of fun. We always have a ridiculous kickball game, while children throw water balloons at each other. Silly dances break out and we find so many reasons to laugh until it's time to see fireworks. Then everyone crowds together on Hart street, to see a firework spectacle shoot high in the sky from Monroeville Mall. Today since I can’t take part in 4th of July in Eastmont, I decided to write a blog for Eastmont. See it’s not the place that really makes us, it is us that makes the place. As a group we are strong, funny, interesting, intelligent, goofy, and most importantly real. Every person I know from Eastmont is tough and for real. That is what I love most about my genuine Eastmont people...we are authentic. We have been through a lot together, and those experiences are what make us Eastmont. We embrace who we are instead of dining with denial. We get together on the 4th of July to stay connected. On this 4th of July I want to connect with Eastmont, and emphasize the importance of community. My neighborhood prioritizes Eastmont as a group of people joined always by where we grew up. Our losses, our rough times, and even our mistakes solidified us as a group. However, what keeps us together is really the laughs and how much we care about each other. I miss you all and most especially on the 4th of July. Eastmont is like air, food, and sleep- I wouldn’t be here or be me without Eastmont. Community is important and I hope on this 4th of July in 2019, we can stick together and understand that community is everything. Not a single person is the same in Eastmont, and that’s true for everyone in the world. I know that when a group decides to become a community, it leaves a positive impact on people, the world, and especially children. The more we connect the more we love, which makes our lives better. As a community, we can face and overcome any obstacle in our paths. Every 4th we get together to stay connected despite difference and distance. Eastmont is a great teacher. Happy 4th to my Eastmonters and communities all of over. Peace, Love, and Happiness Jess |
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