I became a writer before I became a social worker. For me, writing has always brought me comfort and allowed me to express my thoughts and feelings in a safe space. When I was younger, I wrote for me on folders, napkins, notebooks, books, and toilet paper. I got and get to deposit parts of me I can’t handle or that I love onto a piece of paper, and now a word document.
I’ve been a cigarette smoker as long as I have been a writer; I know I’m a living cliché. Both of them are addictions. I guess some addictions can be healthy for us, and some can be toxic. When I write and when I smoke, I feel grounded in reality. I am able to view different perspectives because writing and smoking grant me time to think. Both of them relax me enough to manifest me. Writing is an addiction I will never give up, and smoking is one that I am trying to. When I write, my own voice is reflected back to me. When I smoke, I am distracted from me. Both realms are soothing. However, smoking is one of my addictive realities. I could not make it throughout 2018 without smoking a cigarette. I made it to June 2018, two months short of 12 months and half way to a whole year. I don’t smoke all the time, but sometimes I really need a cigarette. You know that's when I'm over the top upset or unnerved by something. When I was a kid, I started smoking cigarettes. There was a time I never thought that I would give them up. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that my actions affect others and myself, in both positive and negative manners. No matter what I am feeling, I am smart enough to make good choices, and also still foolish enough to make bad ones. I know that everyone is different and how we think, feel, and act is all uniquely us. Something that hurts me might not hurt you and vice versa. Something I think is odd, might be completely normal to you. My point in this blog is simply that, we must all figure out for ourselves what is “healthy” and what is “toxic”, which then informs whether we choose to do what is right or wrong. I think that if all came up with a clear definition of “healthy” and “toxic” in every piece of our social lives, then it would easier for us to choose to do right, and resent doing harm.
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